Fear to Joy

doubt-fearNovember 20th 2013 is a day I will never forget, for multiple reasons.  This was the day that brought me great fear and great joy.  It was the day that my son Ian entered this world.  The day started out normal as usual.  We had one thing on the schedule for that day, a doctor’s appointment for Dana.  She was 37 weeks pregnant with 3 to go.  After our normal scheduled ultrasound we had our normal scheduled non-stress test to listen to the baby’s heart beat for 15 minutes.  As we are sitting there during the test our two doctors come in and sat down with us.  Dana finally asks what’s going on and the doctor says he thought something sounded funny.  At this point I’m starting to feel a little anxious because I know something’s not right.  Two doctors don’t just come in to chat with you during your test.  Finally, the words that I’ll never forget, so…… how about we have a baby today?  What!?  Dana says, your kidding right!? The doctor proceeds to tell us that the umbilical cord is wrapped around Ian’s neck and his heart rate is dropping to concerning levels and we need to do an emergency c-section.  There were two main emotions running through me at this point, fear and doubt.  Dana had many; this is one of the many reasons why I love her deeply.  She handled everything that was thrown her way with such strength amid the million different emotions she was going through.  As with Levi, I put on my it’s going to be alright confident face and tried to assure her that everything was going to be ok all awhile freaking out on the inside.

As we arrived downstairs at the operating room, the doctors pulled me aside and put me in the waiting room while they prepped Dana for surgery.  This was the darkest time for me.  I remember sitting in that room fearfully praying to God and asking him to take care of Dana and the baby.  I was terrified.  After everything that happened with Levi, I couldn’t go through that again.  I again asked God to give me the peace and strength to be there for Dana once I was allowed in the operating room.  Wow did God answer my prayers.  Once I entered that room the overwhelming peace that I felt was extraordinary.  It was the same peace I felt in the hospital room where Levi passed away.  A peace that can only come from Jesus right by your side.  What a great God we serve.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  When we need him most He will always be right beside us to walk us through the most difficult times.

Ian James was born at 4:30 on that joyous November day.  We now hold a precious healthy growing baby boy.  Fear turned to joy.

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Love Never Fails,

Happy New Year Everyone


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